You do not need to live in fear to take your personal safety seriously.

Safeguarding is sometimes associated mainly with children, older people or individuals with disabilities. Although these groups may face particular risks, vulnerability is not restricted to a particular age, background or social group.

At different times in your life, you may become more vulnerable because of illness, disability, emotional distress, bereavement, financial difficulty, dependency, social isolation or an unequal balance of power. You may also find yourself in an unfamiliar workplace, sports club, community organisation or social environment where you do not know the people, procedures or available sources of support.

This means that safeguarding is relevant to everyone.

I have recently been appointed as the Designated Safeguarding Officer for Honeydew Bowling Club. As part of my preparation for this responsibility, I also completed a Designated Safeguarding Officer course.

My role is to help promote an environment in which people are treated with dignity, fairness and respect. This includes helping people understand safeguarding procedures, ensuring that concerns can be reported safely, handling information responsibly and referring serious matters to the appropriate authorities or professional services.

A Designated Safeguarding Officer does not replace the police, social services, healthcare professionals or other statutory authorities. The role is also not to conduct a criminal investigation or attempt to determine guilt. It is to receive concerns, assess what protective action may be required, maintain appropriate records and ensure that serious matters are referred correctly.

My training reinforced an important principle: safeguarding should not begin only after serious harm has occurred. It should be incorporated into the way you think, communicate and behave every day.

Personal safety does not mean living suspiciously

Developing personal safety habits does not mean that you must constantly expect something to go wrong. It means remaining reasonably aware of your surroundings, recognising behaviour that concerns you and giving yourself permission to respond.

You do not have to prove that someone has harmful intentions before taking a sensible precaution.

If a situation feels unsafe, inappropriate or confusing, you are entitled to pause, create distance and seek support. You are also allowed to change your mind.

Agreeing to attend an event, accept help, enter a private space or participate in a conversation does not remove your right to leave when you become uncomfortable.

Your safety is more important than avoiding a few moments of social awkwardness.

Make awareness part of your everyday routine

Personal safety habits are most effective when they form part of your ordinary routine.

When you enter an unfamiliar workplace, club, venue or building, take a moment to notice the layout. Identify the main entrance, available exits, reception area, security point or another place where assistance may be available.

You do not need to study the building in detail. A brief moment of awareness may be sufficient.

When you attend an event or meet someone in an unfamiliar place, let a trusted person know where you are going and when you expect to return. Keep your telephone charged and accessible. Arrange your transport beforehand where possible, particularly when an event ends late or alcohol will be consumed.

Tell someone if your plans change significantly.

These actions may appear simple, but that is precisely why they are useful. Personal safety habits are more likely to help you when they are easy enough to follow consistently.

Take your discomfort seriously

You may sometimes feel uncomfortable before you can clearly explain why.

Someone may repeatedly stand too close to you, ignore your boundaries, ask intrusive questions, pressure you to keep secrets or attempt to separate you from other people. The person may insist that you are being too sensitive or that their behaviour is harmless.

An isolated interaction may appear insignificant. Repeated behaviour, however, may indicate that someone is testing how much you will tolerate.

You should not automatically dismiss your discomfort because the other person appears friendly, helpful, respected or senior. A person’s position, reputation or popularity does not make inappropriate behaviour acceptable.

When you are unsure about an interaction, ask yourself:

• Is this person respecting my boundaries?
• Am I being pressured to make a quick decision?
• Is someone discouraging me from discussing the situation with others?
• Am I being made to feel guilty, embarrassed or indebted?
• Is this interaction becoming more private or personal than it needs to be?
• Would I consider this behaviour acceptable if it were happening to someone I care about?

These questions can help you assess the situation more clearly.

Practise communicating clear boundaries

Boundaries are an important part of safeguarding. You can strengthen your ability to use them by practising simple, direct language before you need it.

You might say:

“I am not comfortable with that.”

“Please do not speak to me in that way.”

“I would prefer to have someone else present.”

“I need time to think about this.”

“I am not agreeing to that.”

“I am leaving now.”

A boundary does not require a long explanation to be valid. You are not responsible for persuading another person that your discomfort is reasonable.

A respectful person may be disappointed by your decision, but should still accept it. Repeated arguing, pressure, ridicule, anger or attempts to make you feel guilty after you have stated a boundary should be taken seriously.

Assertiveness is not aggression. You can communicate calmly while remaining firm about what you will and will not accept.

Protect your privacy and personal information

Safeguarding also includes protecting your personal information.

Think carefully before sharing details about your finances, health, medication, family problems, home security, daily routines or periods when you will be alone. This is particularly important when you do not yet know whether someone can be trusted.

Be cautious when a person you have only recently met becomes intensely interested in your private life or offers help that creates an expectation of loyalty, secrecy, repayment or continued access to you.

Online communication also requires care. Review your privacy settings, use strong and different passwords, and avoid sharing your live location publicly. Be cautious when someone pressures you to move a conversation to a private platform, send intimate material or keep your communication secret.

Once private information or images have been shared, you may have limited control over how they are stored, used or distributed.

Maintain a trusted support network

Isolation can increase vulnerability. A trustworthy support network gives you people with whom you can discuss concerns, examine your interpretation of events and request practical assistance.

You do not need a large network. One or two reliable people may be enough.

Develop the habit of telling someone when an interaction has made you uncomfortable. You can begin by saying, “Something happened that did not feel right, and I would value your perspective.”

Speaking about an experience can help you distinguish between ordinary social discomfort and behaviour that may be manipulative, coercive or unsafe.

People who exploit others often benefit from silence. They may try to convince you that nobody will believe you, that you have misunderstood what happened or that reporting the situation will create unnecessary trouble.

Discussing the matter with someone you trust can help you assess what happened and decide what to do next.

Know how and where to report a concern

Find out how safeguarding, harassment and other safety concerns are reported in the environments you regularly attend.

At work, the appropriate person may be a manager, human resources representative, employee assistance programme, union representative or designated safeguarding contact. At a sports club, it may be the Designated Safeguarding Officer, a committee member or the relevant sporting body.

Do not wait for a crisis before learning where help is available.

When you report a concern, provide clear and factual information. Explain what happened, when and where it occurred, who was present and what was said or done. Distinguish between what you personally observed and what someone else told you.

Save relevant messages, emails, photographs or other records. Write down important details while they are still fresh in your memory. Avoid altering the material or circulating it to people who do not need to receive it.

You do not have to conduct your own investigation before reporting a genuine concern. Your responsibility is to share the information with someone who has the authority and knowledge to assess what should happen next.

If you believe that you are in immediate danger, move to a safer place and contact security, the police or emergency services. Your immediate safety should come before collecting evidence or confronting the person involved.

What to do when someone else may be vulnerable

Safeguarding is not only about protecting yourself. It also includes noticing when another person may need support.

Someone who is being exploited or abused may become withdrawn, anxious or unusually dependent on another individual. You may notice sudden changes in behaviour, unexplained injuries, financial difficulty, fearfulness, reduced contact with friends or reluctance to speak when a particular person is present.

You may also observe someone being humiliated, controlled, threatened, pressured for money, touched without consent or deliberately excluded from information and decisions that affect them.

These signs do not necessarily prove that exploitation or abuse is taking place, but they may justify a calm and respectful conversation.

If you are concerned, try to speak to the person privately in a setting where they feel safe. Describe what you have noticed without making accusations.

You might say, “I noticed that you seemed uncomfortable earlier. Are you all right?” or “I may be mistaken, but I am concerned about the way that person is treating you.”

Listen calmly and allow the person to speak in their own words. Do not interrogate them or pressure them to disclose details that they are not ready to discuss.

If they tell you about abuse, harassment or exploitation, take them seriously. Avoid questions that imply blame, like asking why they allowed it to happen or why they did not leave sooner.

There may be emotional, financial, physical, cultural or practical reasons why leaving the situation is difficult.

Do not promise complete secrecy. You can explain that you will respect their privacy, but may need to share essential information with an appropriate person if someone is at serious risk. Information should only be shared with people who have a legitimate safeguarding responsibility.

Where possible, involve the person in decisions about what happens next. Supporting someone should not unnecessarily take away their independence. The purpose is to increase their safety while preserving their dignity and right to make informed choices.

Immediate action may be necessary when there is a serious threat, a possible criminal offence, a child at risk or a vulnerable person who is unable to protect themselves. In these circumstances, contact the appropriate safeguarding officer, professional service, organisation or statutory authority.

Do not confront the suspected perpetrator yourself if doing so could increase the risk to you or the vulnerable person.

Small concerns should not be ignored

Not every safeguarding concern begins with an obvious crisis.

Harmful behaviour can gradually become accepted when inappropriate jokes, intimidation, persistent unwanted attention, humiliating comments or repeated boundary violations are dismissed as harmless.

Addressing concerning behaviour early may prevent it from becoming more serious.

You do not need to label someone as abusive before you can raise a concern. Report the behaviour that you observed and allow the appropriate person to assess its significance.

A responsible organisation should make it possible for people to raise concerns without being mocked, ignored, disadvantaged or punished. Safeguarding procedures should be understandable, accessible and supported by those in authority.

Confidentiality should be respected, but it should not be used as a reason to ignore serious concerns.

Safeguarding is never about blaming the person who was harmed

No set of personal safety habits can remove every possible risk. Safeguarding advice should never be used to blame someone who has experienced abuse, coercion, harassment or exploitation.

The responsibility for harmful behaviour belongs to the person who chooses to behave in that way.

Personal safety habits do not guarantee that nothing harmful will happen. Their purpose is to strengthen your ability to recognise concerning behaviour, establish boundaries, seek support and respond before a situation becomes more dangerous.

You can become more aware of your surroundings.

You can question pressure, secrecy and controlling behaviour.

You can leave an uncomfortable situation.

You can report conduct that concerns you.

You can support someone who may be vulnerable.

You can seek professional assistance when a situation exceeds your knowledge or ability.

Safeguarding becomes effective when it is treated as an everyday responsibility rather than something considered only after serious harm has occurred.

You deserve to participate in your workplace, sports club and wider community without being intimidated, exploited or silenced. You can also contribute to environments in which other people are treated with dignity, fairness and respect.

Personal safety does not require you to withdraw from life. It requires reasonable awareness, clear boundaries, trusted support and the confidence to respond when something does not feel right.

These are habits you can begin strengthening today.

Bring This Conversation to Your Organisation

I am available to present a practical one-hour, in-person talk on safeguarding yourself and others in the workplace, at sports clubs and in other social or organisational environments.

The presentation helps participants recognise vulnerability, identify concerning behaviour, establish clearer personal boundaries, respond when they feel unsafe and support another person who may be experiencing exploitation, coercion, harassment or abuse.

The emphasis is on straightforward personal safety habits that can be incorporated into everyday life without creating unnecessary fear or suspicion.

The talk can be adapted to suit the needs of companies, professional associations, sports clubs, community groups and other organisations. Time is also allowed for questions and practical discussion.

The introductory fee is R3,500 for a one-hour, in-person presentation. Travel outside my immediate Johannesburg area will be quoted separately.

To discuss your organisation’s requirements or arrange a presentation, please email me at koos@perspective-coach.com.